How to
Build Confidence and Peace of Mind
Eight tips to help you push through the
fear and self-doubt.
1. Build your sense of trust in yourself. Your first task is to
build the trust that whatever happens in your life, you can
handle it all. Right now, think of something about any area of
your life that is bothering you and repeat to yourself ten
times the important words, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it."
I suspect you will immediately begin to feel a sense of peace
within your being. These are important words to have when the
"what if's" come up. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it."
"What if I get sick? I'll handle it." "What if something
happens to my marriage? I'll handle it." And what does "I'll
handle it" mean? It means, "I'll learn from it. I'll grow from
it. I'll make it a triumph!"
2. Do your very best, then let go of the outcome. To help you
let go, develop the trust that "It's all happening perfectly."
This calming affirmation is a shortened version of: "I've done
my best, but even if things don't go the way I want them to go,
I will simply find a way to be enriched by whatever life brings
me. I will learn and grow from it all. Therefore, it truly is
all happening perfectly." Repetition over and over again of
this wonderful affirmation, will definitely quiet the negative
chatter of the mind and help you let go of the outcome. Peace
at last!
3. Stop complaining. Complaining is a big clue that you are not
taking responsibility for your experience of life. Instead of
seeing life's obstacles as problems, see them as opportunities,
opening the door to growth. When you can control your reactions
to whatever life hands you, you have the upper hand. You now
have a choice: You can create your own misery...or you can
create your own sense of growth and wellbeing. That's power!
Every time you have the opportunity to stretch your capacity to
handle the world around you, the more powerful and confident
you will feel.
4. Yes, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Often we think, "I'll
do it when I am not so afraid." But in reality, it works the
other way round. The "doing it" comes before the fear goes
away. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is
to go out and do it. Action is the key. Once you have done
something you have feared a number of times, guess what
happens...the fear of that particular situation goes away. And
it's then time to further expand the comfort zone and move on
to the next situation you fear. That's what growth is all
about. And as your confidence builds, it will become easier and
easier to "feel the fear and do it anyway!"
5. When making decisions, adopt the "no-lose" philosophy. The
"no-lose" philosophy tells us that "I can't lose - regardless
of the outcome of the decision I make. I look forward to the
opportunities for learning and for growing that either choice
gives me." Remember, if you learn through your "mistakes,"
there are no mistakes! In this way, the "no-lose" approach to
decision-making guarantees that all your decisions will be the
right decisions.
6. Know that you count. Know that your presence makes a
difference. If you don't understand this very important fact,
act as if you do make a difference! Just keep asking yourself
the "act-as-if" question in all areas of your life: "What would
I be doing if I were really important here?" Make a list and
then take action. Soon you will "live into" the realization
that you really are important.
7. Commit 100% to all areas of your life. That means when you
are at work or with your family and friends, or meeting new
people, or volunteering in the community... or whatever...give
it all you've got, holding nothing back. When you commit to
giving 100%, your sense of focus, excitement, participation,
enjoyment, fulfillment, and happiness come alive. What a
glorious feeling that is!
8. Say "thank you" a lot. Saying "thank you" is a wonderful way
to make important connections in all areas of your life. The
words "thank you" can also help you appreciate and focus on all
the good that is around you, thus helping you release any
feelings of anger and resentment you may be holding. You can
see why the words "thank you" are two of the most powerful
words ever spoken.
If you, step by step, begin incorporating into your life these
tips, your sense of confidence and peace of mind will grow and
grow. Remember: there is plenty of time...but now is definitely
the time to begin!
-Susan Jeffers,
Ph.D.-
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